How I Met Your Mother
by Special Agent TrebleClef Chase
Summary: Approximately 10 years after Ziva's tragic death, Tony explains their relationship to their fourteen and ten year old daughters. May just learn how to live again from an old girlfriend...
1. A Scrapbook, Pancakes, and A Memory

**Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS nor do I own fanfictions that make people cry... or maybe I own at least a few of them?**

**Chapter 1: The Scrapbook and The Memory**

Kate DiNozzo walked groggily down the stairs on Saturday morning. After a raging party the previous night, she was tired. But nothing made her sleep past nine. Ever. Every parent's ideal fourteen year old. Talia, her ten year old sister, was just leaving the kitchen, leaving her cereal bowl on the table, as always, to go play soccer with her best friend Isla down the street.

Kate poured pancake mix in the skillet and her eyes caught a book laying open on the coffee table. It captured her interest, because the book was not hers and she was the only one who liked to read in the house.

After the pancakes were finished cooking, she opened the book to the beginning. What she realized was that there were very few words, only pictures and stencils, a scrapbook. The first few pages were of her mother's and father's engagement party. Then bachelor and bachlorette parties, those were quite interesting. Then the wedding and reception. Her mother was beautiful and her father sleek. They were sporting massive smiles in all the pictures, though there were too many of them to count.

Then there were pictures of their honeymoon in Paris, thankfully excluding a few she assumed might have been taken. Pictures of her mom's pregnant belly, ultrasound pictures, pictures from the Baby Shower, then Kate's baby pictures. She was a cute baby with her dark curly hair and bright green eyes. First birthday. Second. Third. Fourth. But before the fourth came a few pictures of another pregnant belly, the one that carried Tali. Then minimal pictures of Tali after she was born. Then the scrapbook ended. And she knew why.

**Interluding Flashback:**

_Auntie Abby was babysitting while her parents were at work. It was her mom's second week back. Abby and Tali were upstairs, Abby trying to get her to sleep. Kate was coloring quietly downstairs, trying to be good. Then the phone rang. Kate was up like a bullet to answer that telephone, to act like a big girl. "DiNozzo residence, Kate speaking, May I ask who's calling?" She had been listening to her parents answer the phone, and was impressed with her ettiquette. A long sigh came over the phone. It was her dad. "Kate, sweetie, could you please give the phone to Abby?" Kate was small and didn't understand fully the anguish in his voice, she knew it was bad. She gave the phone to Abby then went back downstairs when Abby rushed down he stairs, Tali in hand and called Kate to come with her._

_A long, silent, tense ride in the herse brought them to NCIS. After proccessing of some sort, they entered and came out into the squadroom. It was 9:00 on a winter night and Kate could tell by the tired/gray faces of her Dad, Uncle McGee, and Gibbs. Her thoughts ran wild but a question entered into her head and she voiced it. "Where's Mommy?" Her dad took a long breath, tears then gathering in his eyes, "Ziva...," He said his voice breaking. Gibbs interjected, "Your mom was killed."_

_**I know, cry cry cry... Why do I keep on killing off good charecters, etc. But it was good. So there!**_


	2. Remember Always, Never Forget

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, only gut-wrenching heartbreak!

**Summer is almost here! Plot bunnies are dancing around in my mind!**

Chapter 2: Remember Always, Never Forget...

Tony DiNozzo descended the stairs to find his oldest daughter shedding a tear over the old scrapbook that he had looked through, only hours previous.

He grabbed two plates of pancakes, one for each of them.

He sat down, opposite Kate.

"So, you're looking at those old pictures huh?"

She nodded and grabbed her pancakes. The two sat, silently chewing.

"Dad?"

Tony swallowed. "Yes?"

"How did you meet Mom?"

He had expected he would have to tell the story one day. For a while, he thought the two could tell it together.

"On the job. My partner, Kate, who you're named after, she was killed by Ziva's brother Ari. Ziva did not believe Ari was guilty and came to beg Gibbs not to blow him away.

He did end up killing Ari, and the Director at the time, Jenny Shepard, brought Ziva back as a Mossad Liaison, our relationship was purely a partnership until she had become an official NCIS agent.

One night, we were on a stakeout, we were bored and started talking about things that had happened in the past between us, I had brought up when we were in Somalia, when she was kept prisoner, and I rescued her, and she leaned over and kissed me.

From then on it was fast, we were married about 6 months later, you were born about 14 months after that."

Kate seemed a little restless still with her curiosity.

Tony was done talking however. Talking about these memories only brought back the pain from that night.

He got ready for work, memories flooding his head.

That stakeout; feeling her soft lips touch his for what felt like the first time. The night he proposed; dancing in that gazebo, the word "yes" had never made him happier in his life. Telling Gibbs, he had never thought that he would be cool with it. The marriage; he usually enjoyed watching her walk away, but he discovered the wonder of her walking towards him. Remember Always, Never Forget was the motto for that wedding; remembrance had brought them together after all. That night on the honeymoon; feeling her body against his. Kate's birth; the tears in the couple's eyes as they looked into her pretty green ones. Tali's birth; nervous prayers were answered when she started to breathe. Holding the colicky baby and harmonizing with a lullaby.

He got in the car, headed for work. His mind wandered to the worst memory, _the night it all ended._

Interluding Flashback:

Tony and Ziva walked into the warehouse, growing anxious; ever since their first daughter's birth, dangerous confrontations always left them worried about the kids.

Tony was to search for the weapons with Gibbs, and Ziva to apprehend the bloodthirsty dealer with McGee.

Tony lightly kissed his wife and headed off with Gibbs.

Tony and Ziva were usually the ones that were sent away from the action, being that they had children to care for. But Ziva was itching for action that day and so Gibbs reluctantly sent her into the field.

Tony and Gibbs were talking and laughing about Kate telling off the snarky teller at the bank, telling a smoker that he was killing himself, and kicking a classmate when she said her baby sister was a dwarf.

They talked like old friends about Tali's new ventures into the world of crawling and how she was extremely colicky and how she usually made Ziva colicky.

They found the guns and radioed the location and continued their chat when they heard a series of gunshots.

They rushed into the warehouse and immediately found McGee, with a gunshot through his gun hand.

They called the paramedics and Ducky and searched to find Ziva and the drug dealer & company.

While Gibbs stood with McGee, making phone calls, Tony wandered off to search. He rounded a corner and his first sight was their man, Drekke Kolswaksi, lying injured and bleeding profusely from his chest. But as he looked further down the room he saw a sight that compelled him to shoot Drekke and all his men in the head, just in case.

"Ziva!"

"Tony…"

"Are you okay?"

Her breaths came in shallow bursts and her face was pale as blood pumped rapidly through her side. He knew it was a stupid question when he asked it.

"No. I love you… I love you and the girls and Abby and Gibbs and McGee and Ducky and everyone. And-"

"No! No! Ziva stop! You're going to be fine. Look, better things are coming. Surgery, Stiches, and Rest and you'll be as good as new."

Her eyelids shut and stayed shut for about 30 seconds.

"I'm so sorry Tony, for… for… everything."

He broke out into sobs and lay on her chest.

"I can't live without you Zi. Please. Please don't leave me! Please stay… stay for Kate and Tali… Please!"

"I'm so sorry."

She closed her eyes and didn't open them.

He angrily wiped the tears away from his eyes and began to collect evidence as Ducky arrived.

Gibbs approached him with a stoic look on his face. But Tony could see a feeling of despair in his eyes.

Tony swallowed the tears. "I know what you're going to say boss, 'Same as any other crime scene.' I know."

Gibbs didn't deliver the head slap Tony was anticipating. "Tony, it _is_ different. I was going to tell you to go to the hospital. I can handle the crime scene. She's your wife."

Tony didn't hesitate. He got in his car and gunned it as fast as the laws of the land would let him get away with.

He entered the hospital. Never before did it seem so depressing. It had started to rain, a drenching sheet of water.

He looked all around him and found the receptionist desk.

"Excuse me ma'am, do you have word on the condition of Special Agent Ziva DiNozzo?"

The receptionist looked up with a sad glance. "You family?"

He pulled out his I.D. "She's my wife."

A doctor then tapped Tony on the shoulder.

"Are you Anthony DiNozzo?"

"Yes."

He gestured to an empty waiting room, desolate, one of those places that just screams, _we have bad news…_

When they reached the room the doctor, young and nervous, began his rambling.

"You'll be happy to know that your partner, Agent McGee will be just fine, he just needs a few stitches."

"And Ziva?"

The doctor's face fell. "I'm so sorry."

He left, handing the paperwork to Tony, a stone statue of the man he was before.

He could feel his heart break, an empty dull pain in his chest. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. She was supposed to grow old with him.

His numb legs somehow carried him to Rm. 308 where his partner lay with a grim look on his face.

"Hey Timmy! Heard you were going to be okay! That's great!"

The crack in his voice must have given him away because McGee looked up with despair in his eyes.

"She's not coming back is she?"

Tears welled up in his eyes as he patted his friend on the shoulder. "No, Tim, no she's not coming back."

McGee started to cry softly. "I'm sorry Tony."

As Tony walked out he added, "Don't feel sorry for me, no, feel sorry for Kate and Tali."

He walked into that empty waiting room and dialed number 3 on his speed dial.

"DiNozzo residence, Kate speaking."

Even Daddy's Little Girl couldn't bring a smile to his face.

"Listen Katie… this is Dad, can you hand the phone to Auntie Abby please?"

He heard shuffling and indecipherable words before Abby got on the phone.

"Tony! Where are you? You soooo need to pay me extra! It's been two hours since you were supposed to be home-"

He cut her off bluntly. "Ziva's dead Abby."

Abby started to cry, her sobs mixing with Tali's wails in the background.

"How did it happen?"

"McGee and she were in a shootout. McGee has a minor injury, Drekke and all his thugs are dead and so is-"

He started to sob. "Can you bring them to NCIS? I'll meet you there."

Her words mixed with cries as she said. "I'll be right there."

Tony sped all the way to NCIS as he took his place in his seat.

Gibbs was already sitting in his seat. "She's downstairs Tony. Go see her."

Tony looked up from his tear stained jacket. "I will, I just need to wait for Abby and the girls."

Gibbs nodded. "They can stay at my house tonight."

"No. I couldn't-"

"I'm going to rephrase. They **will** stay at my house tonight. You can't deal with all this in one night. You need rest."

"Thanks boss."

As they finished their conversation, the elevators opened to reveal a somber Goth, a wailing baby, and a very tired four-year old.

Abby gave Tali to him and then left to go see McGee.

Kate broke the barrier. "Where's mommy?"

Tony began to speak but his voice cracked and he couldn't get out the words. "Ziva…"

Gibbs spoke up for the younger agent. "Kate, your mommy passed away today. I'm very sorry."

The sound of Gibbs' pity was enough to send her flying into her father's lap, tears staining his shirt.

When Gibbs left with the girls, Tony entered autopsy.

He opened the body bag, choking on his tears. "Oh Zi…"

She was still beautiful, but it was heartbreaking to see the absence of light in her eyes, energy coursing through her veins.

"Tony."

He whirled around to see Ziva, a ghostly translucent version of that beautiful face.

"Zi….."

"Please… please tell the girls… every day… every hour… every minute, how much I love them. And don't let yourself ever forget how much I love you…."

"Then take me with you."

A golden tear slipped off her face onto his. "Tony, you know I can't do that. Well, I can… but it would be the most selfish thing I could do, to take you away from Kate and Tali…"

"Please…"

"It kills me Tony, but you know I can't."

She kissed him lightly on the lips then faded into the dark.

**Depressing… Sorry guys…**


	3. A Chance Meeting

Disclaimer: I own awesomeness and awesomeness alone…

**I know it's short, but I couldn't help but to end where I did.**

Chapter 3: A Chance Meeting

Tony slammed the door of his car and wiped the tears from his eyes as he walked into the building.

When he got to his desk, there lay the flowers he had been expecting.

McGee and Abby got him flowers each anniversary of her passing. Black for Abby, white for McGee.

As he sat, he looked around sadly at the team.

He sat at Gibbs' old desk, as he had wanted to for such a long time. Gibbs had reached mandatory retirement three months previous.

McGee sat at Tony's old desk, finally having (slightly) lived down "Probie."

Agent Aaron Holt sat at McGee's desk, having been part of the team for ten years, that day. He was an excellent agent but also lacked a sufficient personality, a quality that wasn't lacking in his old teammates.

And then there was Probationary Agent Rachel Greene. She sat at Ziva's desk. Any random observer would say she was stunningly beautiful. She had long brown hair that curled just right and electric blue eyes and a beautiful figure. And she really liked Tony. But he never noticed.

He must've looked overwhelmed or tired or any of the things he was feeling because McGee walked up to his desk.

"Are you okay boss?"

He didn't even crack a smile. It was usually McGee or Abby's way of making him smile when he had his worst days but today he was plain out depressed.

He looked up. "No, not really."

McGee leaned forward over the desk. "Abby and I want to take the kids tonight."

Tony was bewildered. "Why?"

"Abby and I understand how hard this is for you. We can't imagine how difficult it is to raise kids by yourself; heaven knows Taggert is hard enough with the two of us. But we can't stand watching you so depressed. I'm going to take you to a bar and you are going to have fun."

"Fine. But you're paying McPushy."

* * *

The bar was crowded with pathetic prospects.

At the very beginning, McGee went to talk with a fellow MIT geek and left him to talk to a twenty-eight year old blonde who obviously never had an original thought in her life.

If anything he was more depressed.

After fighting his way through a painful conversation with the fifth woman who hit on him, he sat down, exasperated at the bar.

"Bartender, you got anything to make me forget the past ten years?"

The women next to him let out a bitter laugh.

"Ha! I'll do you ten better. Twenty years with an emotionally and physically abusive husband who cheated on me. Five kids who have too many problems to count and the divorce is final as of today. I normally don't drink and that's why I'm so craz-"

She turned around. It was Jeanne.

"Tony! Why are you here alone? I heard you were married."

He winced. "I was. She passed away ten years ago today."

Jeanne's face fell. "It was Ziva right?"

He was confused. "Uh… yeah. How did you know that?"

"I got a letter from her, the same day that she died. She told me about all that was happening while you were undercover and how you… anyway, I guess she may have seen it coming."

A tear slipped down his cheek and he wiped it away. His voice was hoarse. "Well she always had sort of a sixth sense."

The conversation got awkward.

Tony looked up. "Look Jeanne, I had a great time talking to you but I've gotta head ou-"

He was stopped by Jeanne abruptly grabbing his hand. She wrote down her phone number.

"Tony, I understand you're healing, but the blood doesn't clot until you put pressure on it. Here's my number. I think you should use it sometime."

* * *

Tony got home and broke down.

There were ten cards strewn across the table.

Ten flowers in McGee and Abby's bouquet.

Ten pictures of them on the walls.

Ten.

Ten years.

Ten years.

Ten years.

Ten years of his little girls growing.

Ten years of change at work.

Ten years.

He never thought he could last ten minutes.


End file.
